Douchebag: Good or Bad?

I recently stumbled across this article, "In Defense of the Douchebag," a pithy little argument stating that since douchebags cause vaginal infections, it's perfectly okay to use the term as an insult.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA! Excuse me while I roll around on the floor, LOL-ing.

We all know what a douchebag is. The boys who grow up into men calling each other douchebag as an insult did not pull it out of thin air: they must have heard it somewhere. I heard my brothers using it to insult each other before I even knew what it was; indeed, once I glommed onto what they were really selling on the Massengil commercials, I still had no idea about the true nature of douchebags, until I actually grew up and used one to wash out my vajayjay.

By the way, it comes in a bottle now, a soft squeeze bottle, so technically it should be douchebottle. But that doesn't have the same panache, now, does it?

Actually, it's not bad to douche once in a while. I don't do it anymore, but you know what, I do want to feel fresh sometimes. The only reason I stopped is because, well, it's really freaking cold. Who wants cold vinegar water squirted up their vajayjay? Raise your hands.

I, of all people, do not want to become the word police. But it would behoove you boys to remember where you came from. Everyone travels down the vajayjay to gain life. Did you think it was dirty then? No. And you probably didn't even know what a douchebag was until one of your friends called you the name. Then when you found out, you said, "ewwwww," in your head, and as such, it became the perfect insult. It's an insult all right. To your mother and the vajayjay that birthed you.

So, to each his own, but I do not use the word douchebag as a rule. The Vajayjay Guru can swear with the best of the truck drivers, but it's really something men call each other, and that's telling. I think they are afraid of the douchebag and anything surrounding the vajayjay. Don't worry, it won't bite. Vajayjays are very friendly, especially if you treat them properly.